The Key To The Heart - Letters And Sarcasm
by RainHolly
Summary: An interesting day in History of Magic, with Lily and James passing letters and a heavy, heavy dose of sarcasm. Read and Review!


**Title: The key to the heart-letters and sarcasm!**

**Disclaimer: Heh, thought I'd do one after all. All the wonderfully lovely characters belong to J.k Rowling, our goddess of writing. However, Evanna Hansen and Isabella Donaldson (both of whom appear majorly in my other story, Stuck Together) are my own creation, along with this short story line.**

* * *

"Lil? What's taking you so long?" Isa asked.

"I-" she punched the bed for effect- "can't-" _Punch-_ "find-" _Punch- _"my-" _Punch- "_stupid-" _Punch-_ "essay!"

She got _quite_ different responses from the rest of the three girls currently occupying the seventh year Gryffindor's girls' dormitory. Isa, Mary and Eva spoke at the same time.

"Have you checked the table by the window?"

"Mine isn't even finished half way through!"

"_What essay?"_

"Yes Isa, I have checked. The bloody thing has just vanished!" she muttered crossly. "And Mar, just copy that whole paragraph on 'The Wizarding Wars and what lead to them'-uh-or whatever it was, from the book I got form the library. Binns won't notice and it will cover up _more_ than half of the essay." Mary gave an excited squeal, hugged Lily, who momentarily lost her balance and fell over on her four poster, and then hurried over to search for her own essay, squashed somewhere inside her bag. "And you, Evanna Hansen, what is wrong with you?"

"My lack of memory retention?" Eva asked, smiling somewhat, only somewhat, apologetically.

Lily grinned. "Or lack of grasping ability?"

Eva smirked. "Both."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Help me find mine, we'll do something about yours."

Eva breathed a sigh of relief. "Knew you weren't my best friend for anything!"

Lily raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, besides being absolutely amazing, that is."

"Leave some butter for the bread, Eva. Now, that essay...I was working on it last night only...in-"

"Did you _see_ Pettigrew in the common room yesterday? I mean, how can someone eat so much food in one go-"

"_The common room!_ Ah, yes, that's where I was working yesterday! Thanks, Isa!"

And with that Lily Evans hurried along the common room, leaving the three remaining girls to debate about Peter's eating habits.

Lily skipped down the stair and hurried over to the armchair by the fire. There, stacked below a few papers scattered on the table, was Lily's essay. She breathed a sigh of relief. Merlin forbid, if she hadn't found it and had to do it all over again...History of magic...she shuddered. Picking it up, she ran back to the dormitory.

"-know it, Mar. All I'm saying is that-"

"_Is that the ruddy time?" _Isa exclaimed suddenly. "We're late for breakfast!"

"Well, hurry up, you lot." Eva said noncommittally.

"Well, Eva, are you...going like..._that_?" Lily asked, gesturing to Eva's brown colored bunny night wear.

"Why?" she asked confusedly. Then she looked down at her attire.

Eva dashed off to the bathroom leaving a slightly muffled "Bloody hell!" and three laughing seventh year girls in her wake.

* * *

"Good morning, children. Kindly take you seats." Professor Binns droned, same as usual.

Lily and Eva sat down behind Isa and Mary. James and Sirius took a seat behind them, ahead of Remus and Peter.

"Now, first things first, hand over those essays..."

Everyone took out their essays; well, all those who had bothered to do it anyway.

"Good, good. Now today we will be studying something rather interesting..."

And that was when the students either prepared to doze off for a good one hour sleep, or started doing other things to distract them.

Something hit the back of Lily's head and she turned around in frustration; she had been having a rather interesting conversation with Eva about the latter's infatuation with Amos Diggory.

A crumpled piece of paper. She immediately turned towards the person she was certain was responsible.

"What do you want, Potter?" she whispered.

"Open it!"

She rolled her eyes and turned towards the front of the class again. Shaking her head in Eva's direction, she opened the paper.

* * *

_My dear Flower, _

_How terribly boring this class is, isn't it? So I've decided to keep you entertained for the remainder of the period,__ because really, I couldn't let you succumb to this boredom, could I?_ Now, don't start jumping with joy, we don't want Binns catching you. Not that there is any chance of him doing it. He could go to sleep in his own class. 

___What were you and Hansen talking about anyway?_

_____With a cheesy smile,  
James x_

* * *

_Potter,_

_How terribly thoughtful of you. Well, I'm glad for the warning, I was about to start prancing around.  
Sarcasm. Total sarcasm, in case you didn't get that._

_No idea why you would want to know wh-oh, wait. I do! Anyway, we were talking about Amos._

_Effectively having wiped off that stupid cheesy smile and with a smirk,  
__Lily_

* * *

Now, of course people would wonder why Lily wrote back without hexing him, or wrote back at all. But the thing was, that Lily and James, who had at the beginning of the term been named Head boy and girl, had been forced( in Lily's case) to work together. That involved spending a good part of their day in each others company. This had lead to, first, an agreement of sorts on Lily's part to be civil with him. But after spending so much time with him, she began to look past the preconceptions she had formed of him. She found that when he wasn't trying to impress her, he was actually quite sweet. He would open doors for her, carry her books sometimes, even stay up late at night to help her with her Tranfiguration homework. He wasn't really the arrogant bully she had thought he was. She had come to friendly terms with the boy and had actually, dare she say it, started liking him.

* * *

_Lilybear,_

_Honestly darling, there was no need of mentioning it so many times, You'd think I might have gotten used to it by now, given I'm constantly on the hearing end of your advanced level of sarcasm._

_What? Who? Diggory? Why? Why would you want to talk about him? That tosser isn't worth your time! Though good to know you weren't being serious (courtesy of your signing off line) or I might have had to hex him, which, if you have noticed, I hardly do these days. Except for Padfoot, that is. It's kind of important, really. His case is getting sadder day by day. _

_With the cheesy smile still in place (though good try!),  
James x_

* * *

_James,_

_Well, I'm glad to know you can make that out now. Need I remind you of the countless number of occasions on which you have portrayed you extraordinary inability to understand sarcasm? _

_He asked Eva out and she was just trying to figure out whether to give it a shot or not, but nice to see your concern (eye roll). Yes, I can understand. You should ask him to stop trying to balance his quill on his nose, though. He might loose his eyesight._

_With a sympathetic nod in Sirius' direction and an eye roll in yours,  
Lily_

* * *

_Lils,_

_Oh come now, you know I only did that to amuse you. Don't tell me you weren't, because I know you were!_

_Oh! Eva. Well, I guess he's safe...for now. Yeah yeah, don't roll your eyes now, I don't want those beautiful emerald eyes damaged. I tried, really I did. And it might have worked too. Look he's just trying to balance it on his chin now. _

_Anyway, I heard about this rather interesting thing that muggles call, um, movee, was it? from Remus yesterday. The only thing I could grasp was something about pictures moving, but I don't understand what's so great in that._

_With my ever so charming smile,  
JP x_

* * *

_Well "JP",_

_Oh yes, I was terribly amused. (Since you now seem to have gotten the hang of it, I'll refrain from telling you that it was sarcasm.)_

_Thank you for the compliment, but if you're really so concerned, I'd suggest that you stop creating instances which force me to move my eye muscles around so much!_

_It's called a movie, James. And, well, it's basically like watching a play or something, you know, just on screen. It's made up of pictures that move at a really fast speed._

_With, sadly, yet another eye roll,  
Lily_

* * *

_Lilykins,_

_I'm not commenting on the first part. I'd rather we leave my ability to decipher sarcasm out of the conversation, for now._

_Of course I am concerned! Really, you wound me with your scathing words.  
I just re-read you second line, and I'm having a hard time not mentioning how adorable you are. I just said it, didn't I? But well, what can I do? Truth is bound to be emitted, time and again. (__cheesy wink)_

_Ooh! Okay, so now it sounds interesting! We should go watch it sometime, yeah?_

_With an affectionate grin,  
JP xx_

_P.s It's not a letter, for Merlin's sake Lils! Stop signing off so formally! J_

* * *

_James,_

_First off, don't expect me to come up with ridiculous nicknames! Honestly, even my mum never called me Lilykins! I seriously think you're suffering form dementia._

_Well, do they, now?  
Um...thank you? Oh and really, that's a little too much cheese on your plate, James, and I'm having a hard time not mentioning that it was sarcasm. I just said it, didn't I? But well, what can I do? Truth is bound to be emitted, time and again. (returning your stupid wink)_

_No._

_With a cheesy smile of my own,  
LE x_

_P.s There you go! Though I really don't like LE! L_

* * *

_My floral red head,_

_Heh, sorry. I couldn't resist writing that. Really, they are most definitely not ridiculous! And the fact that they are nicknames given to YOU, makes it just impossible for them to be ridiculous! Um...what, exactly, is dementia?_

_Yes, they really do. (solemn look)  
You're always welcome, sunshine! My my, someone's on a copying spree, eh? Not that I mind though, really._

_Oh come on Lils! You know you want to! It'll be so much fun! Just imagine, our first muggle date! _

_With a big smile at your smile,  
JP xx  
_

_P.s Heh, that's loads better! Well, if you don't like LE, you can always change it to LP, yeah? Don't think I missed that tiny x you made. J_

* * *

_James,_

_My FLORAL RED HEAD? Really, did you fall off your broom and were subsequently dragged across the fields by the Whomping Willow? Well, as flattering as that was, I'd still prefer you don't come up with such names!  
Dementia is just a loss of brain function. It usually affects memory, thinking, language, judgment, and behavior, so I think you can relate._

_Of course. Why would you mind?_

_No trust me, I most certainly do not want to. And out first_ date_, if it ever will be, which it won't!_

_With a smirk,  
LE x_

_P.s Don't push it, Potter. L_

* * *

_My beautiful temptress,_

_Aha! I knew you would like the name! As it so happens, I did fall off my broom yesterday after practice. However, I don't remember being dragged across the fields by the Whomping Willow. Maybe I had fainted before that happened.  
Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny. I really think Padfoot is inflicted with it, not me._

_Our first date! Sounds nice, doesn't it? Ah, Evans darling, it will happen sooner or later. You know it will._

_With a smirk to match your own,  
JP xx_

_P.s Got it, milady. J_

* * *

_My knight in shining armor,_

_(snort) As if, but well, anyway. See! One time I forget to mention the word sarcasm and you fail to understand it.  
Heh, well, his is a more chronic case, but I'm sure he's rubbing it off on you too. This time, I shall not refrain from mentioning that it was sarcasm._

_Yeah, keep dreaming. _

_With the smirk still in place,  
LE x_

_P.s Good! L_

* * *

_Evs,_

_There! You just can't not like this name! Remember I used to call you that in second year? I did not fail to notice your incredible usage of wisecrack, merely decided to overlook it.  
His is the only case! And thank you, I too shall refrain from making any stupid comebacks. See, I can make sarcastic comments too!_

_Oh, I am. I certainly am. (cheesy wink)_

_With the biggest possible smile,  
JP xxx_

_P.s Merlin, Evs, you're too cute! J _

* * *

_Pots,_

_Ha! Beat that!  
Yeah, keep on making excuses.  
Well, as you like it. Not that I agree or anything. Wow, that was surprisingly good. Who's on a copying spree now, eh?_

_(disgusted look) That should suffice, I think._

_With a shake of head,  
LE xx_

_P.s Why thank you, Pots. L_

* * *

_Lily,_

_Pots, eh? Well, any name you give me would sound like melody to my ears.  
Since the class is nearing it's end, I have to break the flow of the conversation and write something very important.  
Give it a glance, yeah?_

_Lily, not to sound cheesy or anything, which I do most of the times come to think about it...yeah, deviating from the topic. You're the first person I think of when I wake up. Okay, so you've heard this line hundred of times. But I'm not just throwing it! It's true! And before you start commenting on what a pansy I am, trust me, it isn't deliberate. It just...happens, you know? By reflex or something. And you most definitely are the last person I think of before going to sleep, where you beautiful face constitutes the majority of my dream time. And I know I've done some pretty horrible things in the past, but I've changed Lily. I have, really. Because of you. For better, as they say, yeah? (nervous laugh) I'm not at all proud of who I was, Lily. I'd take it all back if I could. I don't even recognize myself when I look back and think about the idiotic prat that I was. Look, I know you've refused a thousand times by now and you had all the reasons to. But, all I ask for is a chance. To show you that there's more to me that I've ever showed you. Please? _

_Give me one chance and I swear I'll prove you wrong. Just one._

_Join me in Hogsmede tomorrow?_

_With love,  
JP xxxx_

* * *

_James,_

_... Wow._

_LE _

* * *

_Lils,_

... _Was that a yes, then?_

_JP _

* * *

_Pots,_

_4:30 in the Great Hall, tomorrow._

_With love,  
Lily xxx_

* * *

James was given detention for shouting "YES!" at the top of his voice; well, it was rather loud, considering Professor Binns also heard it.

But he couldn't care less.

_'She said yes!'_ he thought for the hundredth time later that night, with the stupid smile still plastered on his face from earlier that day.

* * *

_**A/N: Hey, the last two lines rhyme! :P Well...it does till "yes". xD  
Okay, so this was totally random! I just thought of it while doing an assignment, and well, here it is. Wrote it in just about an hour or two.**_

_**Hope you enjoyed! :D**_

_**Review, pretty please? :3 Wouldn't take you more than a minute, but it would make my whole day!  
Guaranteed Butterbeer and pumpkin pasties for all those who review!**_

_**Cheers,  
RainHolly**_


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